“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”
― Michael Law
This is a time of year when many of us are aiming for a perfect Holiday. If you are hooked on sappy Hallmark Christmas movies like me, it can be a difficult time of the year. Our mistakes can be glaring if you celebrate any holiday this time of year. Comparisons to movies or real life don’t help. I got two Christmas cards before December 1st this year, this got me unrealistically thinking I should have my gifts or cards out by now. You might think someone got me a much nicer present than I got them. The food I brought was not good enough for the holiday meal. I should be feeling a total sense of peace and love around the Holidays and I only feel stress. I wrote about perfectionism back in May 2014 and it is still a struggle for me. Self acceptance is the cure.
We all make mistakes, and often obsess over them. I have a history of extreme perfectionism compounded by a family background where I can also feel overly responsible for everything in the whole world. I can be haunted by my mistakes even if others have forgiven them. I wrote about talking to myself as my own best friend. I do that and now I am working hard on following the advice I give myself. It is dang good advice sometimes. If make a mistake I tell myself to apologize, make restitution where I can and move on. I also find quiet reflection and meditation really helps to put things into perspective.
Enjoy what ever holiday you celebrate and cut yourself some slack this year.
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
― Brené Brown,